I opened my e-mail tonight and saw the following from a Flute List member:
Dear List: My flute choir is playing Nancy W. Wood's "Pedazitos" in concert this weekend, and in preparing the program I can't find her birthdate anywhere. I'm assuming she's currently amongst the living, and if anyone can help out I'd be grateful - perhaps she's even a List member? If we solve the mystery, perhaps Larry can add her to his composer page. Thanks, Rebecca Quigley
So, of course, I had to answer it, and now the entire flute world knows my real age. Of course, I have several different ages, so maybe they could average them out and arrive at something a little more kind: parts of my brain are very mature, around 45 I'd say, but parts are spiraling into senility, which is scary. But average in my gullibility factor, say around 10, and things look much nicer. My back and knees are around 110, but my elbows are easily 16 or 17, as long as you don't factor in the upper arm stuff sloshing around. Let's just stick to the elbows for this exercise (if Katisha can do it in the Mikado, so can I). My right eye is about 87, but my left eye is only about 45 or so. My hands look like the wicked witch in Snow White but my feet are in great shape! So that makes the average . . . mumble, mumble. . .
75 and 25 divided by . . . I'm just guessing about 30. In fact, that's an age I'd be happy to stick with. I wonder if I can convince anyone else.
In the real world, Bob came in for some lovely compliments on his camera work yesterday. We had our 4-month interview with our mission president, a very intimidating gentleman, and he said that there was a marked improvement in the photos since Bob has been taking them. He appreciates the way Bob understands light and uses it effectively. He's been taking such lovely exit shots of departing missionaries that he's gotten a lot of requests for copies from people who have said they've never liked any of the photos before now. It's very gratifying, needless to say! There's no doubt in my mind that he was called to be here. He's setting an awfully high standard for whoever follows.
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4 comments:
Way to go, Bob! That's pretty cool! And Mom, it's pretty cool that another group is playing your piece. Aren't missions wonderful? :)
That is all very awesome! Especially the math!
We need to put up some sort of fan site, complete with unsubstantiated rumors and salacious gossip (Yes, she really does sleep with her alto flute! No, there's ABSOLUTELY NO TRUTH to the rumor that she's writing her own Requiem!) and plenty of pics of Mom cavorting at the flute conventions, or at least of her trying to run over perfectly good apostles with her scooter. Speaking of which, how come Bob never has his camera out whenever you accost poor Elder Perry?
What do you call bragging on a blog -- brogging? I wasn't really doing that, I was complaining that my entire whole age was posted for the entire whole Flute List to see -- even my publisher posted my birthdate. Thanksalot.
As for my alto flute, it's all a vicious rumor and we refuse to comment on it. No doubt it was started by one of the politically incorrect. Let me correct one other misconception: I only run over apostles I know personally.
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